In a couple of days we”ll be handing out Halloween candy. We don’t want to spook the toddlers, so playing with appliance makeup is out.
In honor of spooky season, here is one of my cleverest Halloween costumes ever. It’s also a costume I never actually got to properly wear. A few years ago i threw a Halloween party with a costume theme of Your Greatest Fear. The concept was solid, but my personal greatest fear is a fear of heights, and how do you costume that?
Cotton wool clouds around your head, a look of frozen terror, and really tall stilts on your feet?
Eventually i had a breakthrough, and i made this: a headband with a picture of a screaming pigeon stuck to it.
Because he’s up really high, see.
And it scares him, right?
…No? Yeah, no one else got it either. And also, the speech bubble wasn’t balanced, so the bloody pigeon kept falling off my head.
Mr Tabubil, on the other hand, decided to go with arachnophobia. That concept was easy. I reckoned I’d glue a whole bag of fiberfill to a white t-shirt and glue a packet of plastic spiders to that and turn him into a massive spherical spider colony, and he could go around all evening with that look of helpless horror on his face.
Only it was October 31 in Santiago de Chile, and the weather was hot. Mr Tabubil was sweating rivers under his fiberfill padding before I’d stuck even a quarter of it on, and he demanded I rethink the plan or he’d quit.
Fortunately the white t-shirt had come in a two-pack. I started again, stopped when he said to, and Arachnophobia is apparently symbolized by a white t-shirt with a sad t-strap of fiberfill and well, he still had lots of spiders, so i guess it wasn’t a total flop. With 15 minutes to go before my guests arrived,
I drew some dark circles under my eyes, slapped on a bathrobe, and declared myself Insomnia.
Everyone got that one.
Philistines, the lot of them.
